Love – Fantasy vs Reality: From “The Bachelorette” to “Catfish”

Someone suggested to me that I should try and go on dating sites. Then her and another colleague made a joke that they will set me up for a date with someone via the WORLD WIDE WEB (Optimus Prime voice).

Did it happen? Erm nah. Glad it didn’t because you never know whether some of these fellas want to have one-stands or simply kill you.



OKCupid have confessed to the world of manipulating their users data. In others words, making matches that don’t work…Oh I don’t know, I don’t use dating sites. Facebook  also admitted about their psychological testing on users. Guess that site isn’t the ‘book of the face’ anymore.

Digital and entertainment has changed the way we see and view relationships. We now have dating chat rooms, online dating sites and Bachelor/Bachelorette reality shows! Where 26 women/men compete for one man/woman’s heart. I’ve only watched the UK version and seen the battle of the estrogen of backbiting, shade, jealously, competitive seduction and unrealistic emotional attachment, so imagine what the USA version will be like since they’ve been during these shows since 2002. As I’ve stated before where there’s girls there’s the ‘*beep*ness’ and where’s there’s men there’s collision of  the ego and testosterone.

Image: http://www.ohnotheydidn’



All these entertainment-dating-reality shows, who does that in real life? Get 26 women/men and make them go through some tests in order to get the winning prize which is the man/woman herself (with an surprise engagement to end the season)? Unless you’re singing P.Diddy and Usher’s ‘I Need A Girl’ or Bonnie Tyler’s ‘I Need A Hero’ you either considered a player (men) or a she-pimp/slut (female).

In which Nick Viall subliminally accuses “Bachelorette”Andi Dorfman for being one! Despite not picking him! *Shade*. So it’s like that now eh? Ladies can act all lovey-dovey with fellas (who are not usually emotional), who open their hearts to them (the women), give their bodies while the women will push them to one side and move on to the next?

I can agree with Chris Brown when he sings ‘#these girls ain’t  loyal…#. Go on fellas, push your fists in the air if you experience heartbreak.

However, may I remind you that you’re also guilty of being too playful with your penis and not restricting it to one direction LOL. Hmmm, most of  you fellas never apologize for the sex. So it’s no point of Nick calling Andi out when the Bachelors and Bachelorettes featured on the show get paid to bringing their potential husbands/wives to the Fantasy Suite. Knowing all too well that the Bachelor/Bachelorette is actually sleeping with all of the OTHER RIVAL CONTESTANTS. Surely before signing their love, sex and relationships on the dotted line that both the contestants and the Bachelor/Bachelorette knew what they’re getting into right? Therefore, the validation of Nick calling Dorfman out about their night of pleasure is zilch, zero..NOT VALID. If you didn’t read the contract Nick Viall then you’re the one biting the dust.

#Twocanplaythatgame homies!

Like I said, men would never apologize for the sex. They’re visual creatures and want to do it right  by either waiting for a committed relationship or trying it out.

Although, the ‘trying it out’ hasn’t helped with the sexual health and baby-mama dramas.

What the foolishness is this soul-mate hype? I believe many of us across both genders have this fantasy of the ‘perfect’ soul-mate. Especially women, since we’re are the ones that would (and still DO) drown ourselves in romance chick-flick movies. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS ONE and the media has played a strong role in creating unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should be. All these horoscopes and relationship advice from magazines messes with our minds.


When can two people call a relationship a relationship? Is it after two weeks, a month? When they have feelings for someone they haven’t met at an online chat room after a couple of days?

I say this because after watching MTV’s “Catfish”, many of us get head of over-heels after ‘hooking’ up with someone that ‘we met’ in an internet chat-room. With their attractive photos of beauty in accordance to our diverse preferences. Then when we realise that the distance relationship is a lie as in the case of “Catfish”...

Or worse, causes abduction and death!

Come on now people, you’ve heard stories of innocent people speaking to undercover psychopaths and then go and meet them. Especially the young children and teens who have access to digital things. Back in my day it was all about Yahoo! or MSN Messanger. Man people need to be careful as many people fake their true identities e.g. take other people’s pictures. Parents be very vigilant about he well being of your children online.

The test begins once you start LIVING WITH THAT PERSON. Since there’s no soul-mate, you can get someone with similar tastes. Along with similarities, they’re differences. Like Sean Lowe said, you can’t get a complete soul-mate in 20 hours, after the reality show or going on a few dates. I think the biggest problem with many of us is that we get so head over heels that we rush into the relationship, then once we are stuck with an obstacle, the relationship begins to die out. In terms of marriage, the growth of two people will determine the strength of that marriage. After the glamourous wedding and the honeymoon. You’re continuously knowing that person. There’s a lot of people that didn’t have the lavish wedding but are still together after 10 years or even 60 years. Those are the wedding anniversaries I value most, because there must have been so much up and downs. On the other hand, you have  couples who had the lavish wedding, but ended in divorce. It would be sad to see if some of these Bachelor/ette relationships end this way, because it’ll indicate that the show was a waste of time. While ABC gets the money baby! Cash, money, swag…swipe 😎 😎 😎 LOLOL.

We’re not all like Kim K who got 17 million from her last lavish wedding with Kris Humphries, which aired on “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”. 

Average marriage nowadays lasts for 7 years. Plus, people now do nuptials than vows, because vows are for  life and requires commitment. Marriage is a life contract between God, you and your spouse why the divorcing process takes longer.

Despite the mishaps with online dating and the emergence of these entertainment-dating-reality shows. It isn’t all doom and gloom. As seen in “Catfish”, many of these long-non-visible relationships are genuine. Still, I stick to the point of keeping things behind closed doors away from the public eye, because most of the time, media attention doesn’t really contribute good things to one’s life. So if you’re thinking of love, why not go out with friends, close family relatives…enjoy the single life and your independence while you can. Keep watch for the players! Then when the right person comes along you’ll take the gradual steps to committed love.


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