Peeps! We’re at the end of another year, and what a great twisted year it was…
We’ve seen the likes of the new celebrity freshmen taking over the pop high school, whilst the alumni or let’s say the continuing legends, have entered a new chapter of their lives. Others have resurrected their celebrity status after a long year of silence. Sadly as life is, some have passed on or have fallen-from-stardom grace.
Before I begin, I’d like to use this opportunity to apologise for such lateness and slacking with these blog posts. I really do appreciate your patience.
Now that’s settled, let’s reminisce the year 2013,
We all can remember how she returned to the scene with her video of herself twerking in frog onesie. With that video causing a stir, she returned to the pop scene; with a new haircut, provocative style and swag that would almost make you think that she’s had some good sexual intercourse with some black dude (I still think this, even though they’ve been reports that she actually slept with one of her producers). With the whole debate of the ‘twerking’ being at the forefront, Miss Miley continued to rep this new found swag of ‘ghettoness’ with her first music video ‘We Can’t Stop’ as well as releasing her album ‘Bangerz’, of which both went straight to Number 1 in album and single charts, especially in the UK and US. After that single made headlines, she continued again with ‘Wrecking Ball’, which hit record breaking Youtube views and controversy, after mentioning Sinead O’Connor as her inspiration to show vulnerability in full butt nakedness on a sledgehammer. With questions about the sexualisation of young pop females in an industry that ‘don’t give a **** about you’, one must be concerned as to whether her fast success and fame are a shadow of her pitfall, as I’ve said before, I’m praying that she doesn’t end up in hospital. Let’s admit, she’s lost many Hannah Montana fans as well as gained new Miley Cyrus ones…we can’t deny that some people of her generation think that she’s nuts. Especially after her parents’ divorce. Debates still speculates as to whether her new inner blackness are just a clever publicity arranged stunt, because to me, after that twerking video…she knew what she was doing. I guess it was a way to be remembered rather than be forgotten from Disney. The ‘craziness’ in which people describe has actually worked in her favour…she’s making more ‘monaies’ than you’ll ever make in your daily job. I’m feeling Rihanna’s ‘Pour It Up’ song coming on ‘Oooohhhhhhh all she sees is dollar signs, dollar-dollar signs. Ohhhhh, money on her mind money-money on her mind’.
Personally, the funniest moment was when I heard that they added the world ‘twerking’ into the Oxford Dictionary, with the media claiming that she invented it. Apologies for going ghetto but ‘nah, mate…sister took that word from black folks and made it mainstream innit?’ So it’s no wonder they’ve been good, bad and terrible attempts of the ‘twerk’ from both celebrities and the public, which has caused consequences of suspension and injuries (check Youtube out). Honestly, y’all are just late on a African rooted movement that has turned ghetto. Besides that, anyone seen her film-documentary?
These fine ladies saw the launch of their show Chasing the Saturdays on cult entertainment channel E! With Rochelle & Marvin Humes adding a new addition to the family (baby girl Alaiai-Mai). To even top it off, Frankie announced her engagement to her beau (Wayne Bridge) and entered into motherhood with the birth of her son. Una has officially changed her last name, While Molly continues to wait for her Mr Right. In the meantime, she’s begun pursuing her fashion interests in modelling and entrepreneurship. I believe their biggest highlight of the year was when they saw their track ‘What About Us’ reached number 1.
Sadly guys, you won’t be seeing another season of their reality show, but at least they’re the UK’s most loved band! I love them too. Speaking of television, Rochelle has become part of BBC Three’s Sweat the Small Stuff.
Kim and The Kardashian Family
There’s a reason why I just mentioned Kim Kardashian on her own. Man, despite the fact that I love her, let’s be real –it has always been about her.
Well, she has had one of her best years. Don’t you think? Finally, she got her divorce officially done and dusted from estranged husband Kris Humphries (about time, because brother was really dodging the divorce dates). Later on, she started dating Kanye West. Her ex however, Ray J caused drama with his track ‘I Hit It First’, stating that she (Kim) wouldn’t have become famous without his dark choco-latte loving (and the sex tape…but mostly the loving). Brother got 4 million Youtube hits with that tune. Hmmm, I wonder what Kanye had to say about it…
Next, she was pregnant; getting a right stink from the media about her excessive weight gain and fashion style. Anyways sha, she surprisingly went into labour and gave birth to North West. In respect of Mr West, no paparazzi were allowed to see the process of the delivery of her baby girl, the certificate and even know the name. Which caused everyone wondering as to whether they’ll keep the K tradition (which obviously, they didn’t). Plus, none knew what the baby looked like, until instagram pictures began to emerge; with Kim getting some rest and North wrapped in blanket. To top the year off, the love of her life proposed to her in front of everyone at a football stadium!…Even though she and Kanye have already been discussing their future together after the birth of their daughter. Then it was that Bound 2 video…ahhhhh man.
With the rest of the Kardashian clan. Well, Khloe has experienced her marriage breaking apart. After allegations of her husband (Lamar Odom) cheating, drugs and other things…but mostly with these mistresses coming forward screaming their ‘love sessions’ with the brother. Robert was I think going out with Rita Ora at some point but dumped her after hearing that she slept with so many men. Or was that last year? Anyways, brother’s still trying to figure out his own identity. Newly single Kris Jenner launched her own talk show (after making those mills) and finally split from Bruce Jenner. Divorce is surely on the horizon. Although, I’d be shocked if she gets married again considering her age.
Businesswise, the Kardashian Kollection continues its quest in Europe. Not only did we see their beauty range on feelunique.com but they partnered with Lipsy to feature skin-fitting envious pieces that would sure be a sell-out.
What can we say about her? Not only was she dropped from X Factor (despite her massive contribution to Little Mix), she was ‘set-up’ with these drug allegations. In the summer, she was arrested for ‘setting someone’ with drugs.NOW SHE’S GOING TO GO TO COURT FOR IT! It was even estimated that she’ll loose loads of funds from endorsements following the incident. That’s loads of money to sort out my home bills for life. Later on, she returned with a new whole glamourous look and posted her new makeover selfies on instagram.
Many of you don’t really care about her anyways, so I know that you’ll scheam read this post.
These guys mean business! First, they premiered with their first film-documentary (should I call it film-documentary) This is Us; in addition to the launch of their Little Things beauty range; with each member having a signature colour nail varnish and lipstick. Liam reconciles with his girlfriend and Zayn Malik shocks everyone with his marriage proposal to Little blond pix Perrie Edwards, despite the cheating allegations coming from who knows where from God knows who. This life eh?
Regardless of their personal lives, you can’t deny that they are still the biggest boyband in the world. Even bigger than the Wanted…I’m sorry to say.
Oh yes, I’ve forgotten to mention that Harry Styles is becoming a style icon of his own. I wouldn’t be surprised if he became the face of Burberry in the future.
The popular chick from Nickelodeon’s Victorious and Sam & Cat caused worldwide buzz with her first video ‘I Love The Way’ featuring Mac Miller. She has established herself as the next jewel behind Whitney Houston, Leona Lewis and Mariah Carey, but why the heck would you compare her to someone that has already become a legend…? Oh I don’t know, just my way of thinking.
Her album ‘Yours Truly’ stormed straight to Number 1 in the US Billboards Charts. So you can say that she’s on her way to super stardom success. Although, as it always goes for many pop princesses, her innocence is deceiving and only time will only tell when she’ll release her provocativeness from those sweet dresses and puppy-love videos. Just look at Rihanna, Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears.
He’s changed and become a very fine man! Sad that he broke up with Selena Gomez though. Who remembers that awkwardness when they walked passed each other at the Video Music Awards? I even heard rumours speculating that he wanted to pursue Taylor Swift but who can believe everything they read eh? I believe now, he’s enjoying the single life. Although he’s become very rebellious towards the paparazzi- guess he’s going down the lunatic road like Kanye West to these CCTV paps. Why can’t they just go away them punks (laughs)? I hope you don’t mind me asking about your thoughts of that video of him sleeping with a Brazilian woman. I’ve even forgot to mention that he’s beginning to fufill his acting pursuits. Yes, I’ve been hearing rumours/reports. So this is an open request and invitation: If you have any sources confirming this fella (who I’d go snowflake for) landing roles in the next upcoming films then please feel free to comment.
Apart from these we can recall Kendrick Lamar calling out all of the rappers in his ‘Control’ verse, Duke and Duchess of Cambridge royal arrival of their son Alexander, Tia Mowry going vegan, Justin Timberlake returning with a bang with his 20/20 album (he’s definitely returned and still got it), Azealia Banks’ beef with the likes of Rita Ora, Lil Kim, T.I. and Iggy Azalea whose has had a very successful year after storming to the world show with ‘Work’. Who else? Ah, the Big Reunion of the UK biggest pop bands of the 90s and 00s (Blue, Atomic Kitten, Honeyz, 911 & Five)…Yes, who watched that concert on ITV? The Youtube fascination of the ‘Harlem Shake’, the annoying song of ‘Blurred Lines’ by Robin Thicke, JLS shock split announcement, the funny Youtube video ‘What Did the Fox Say’. The list goes on…
In full condolence alongside 2013’s beef, foolishness and drama, we saw the passing of Dame Margaret Thatcher, Cory Monteith (Finn in Glee), Paul Walker (Fast & Furious) and Nelson Mandela.
Well, that’s it. That’s my take of the year. Do also tune into BBC Three’s 100 Most Annoying People of 2013 too. I can guarantee that they’ll be some laughs :).
See you in 2014, as you and I, whatever your pursuits, will be moving to new heights…with more new freshmen, drama and big returns from the 2014 celebrity high school. PEACE.